Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Manny Tapes

One thing about hanging out with a bunch of 1 to 2 year olds is you eat a lot of shit. No, not literally. Right now they're all at the stage where they're learning about sharing. So one will have a bag of, say, Goldfish. Now his little mitt is holding one out to you, so you take it, say "thank you!" and eat it. So now he's all excited that you took it, and grabs another one. Next thing you know, you've eaten half the bag, gettin a faux-powdered cheese buzz on and standing in the baking heat feeling like a grizzly bear who just got a dart stuck in his neck. Cause the kid isn't gonna understand "no thanks, I don't want one, let's get back to working on you 'accidently' pulling mama's shirt up." So they keep coming. The other day I got a whole gang shoveling shit at me; finally I did the ol'fake eating/chuck it behind my head. Of course the kid saw it, freaked out, and there's our guy Xmastime picking up a fucking gummi bear thing off the goddam playground and having to make a big show of eating it. Thanks, lil guys!

"Hahahaha!!! Eat shit, you fucking Xmas douche!!!!"

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