Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Manny Tapes

Because I wanted to catch Kate Winslet naked before I went to sleep last night I watched some of Little Children. I'm in the middle of one of my shaving Winslet's eyebrows fantasies when she says that her kid refuses to be put in a stroller or car seat, so she has to walk or carry her everywhere they go.

Umm....excuse me? Does this kid only eat candy corn personal pan pizzas too?

I'm assuming whoever okay'd that line doesn't have kids. Cause if it wasn't for the stroller, I would've thrown myself off the Williamsburg Bridge a long time ago. When we're playing, Short Bus is a great walker and runner. Boom! he's over there, BAM! he's back, on and on. But whenever I decide to let him walk with me down a street on the sidewalk, taking a break from the stroller, I last about 14 seconds before the skin pops off of my body and into the street and I realize it's either put the kid back in the stroller or call his parents and let them know that we'll be back home in time for his high school prom. Fucking maddening.

"HAHAHAHAHAA!! Hey, don't blame me because after about three steps SOMEbody's fucking lungs collapse from the fucking heaving and sweating, fucking fat ass!"

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