Fireside

The Manny Tapes

One sign of the economy is that I am not the only dude adult in our My Grownup & Me class. There were three others today, a record; and each one over the course of the hour gave me that "so, you too, huh?" look. Too which I gave a "fuck you, this is my 214th straight class - if the teacher gets assassinated during class, guess who fucking takes over?" look.

Also a record - 4 different nanny/mommies I wouldn't mind banging. The word must've gotten out about my big fucking hog balls wanting to do some bull-fucking at the Y. Welcome, ladies!!






"HAHAHAHAH! Hey, you fat - ...I'm sorry, but 'hog balls' is fucking killing me."

The Manny Tapes

Oh wow, check this out - apparently some guy in NYC spends his days taking care of kids. Maybe you didn't catch that - a MAN is a primary caregiver for some children. And here he is, in the newspaper. Which makes sense, cause he must be some sort of super-hero, amazing guy. I bet his oversized penis also tutors poor kids after school. I wonder if he'll get invited to the White House? Can't Michael Phelps give him a few of his gold medals? Or his name will become synonymous with doing good deeds: "Dude, saving that puppy? You totally just pulled a Tullis." I mean, you live long enough, I guess you'll eventually see anything - including someone with testes spending the day with his children. Gee, if only we knew of OTHER men doing the same thing right now. But I guess that would be like finding another entire race of men living on the bottom of the ocean. How fucking Tullis would that be?







"There a phone number with the article?"

Fireside

The Manny Tapes

You always dread the moment you realize you've turned into your parents. Mine was about 7 minutes ago when I found myself looking up to the ceiling saying "God, give me strength not to kill this child." Sigh.






"HAHAHAHAHA!!! Good luck catching me first, you big fat fuck!!!!!"

The Manny Tapes

One day The Short Bus will grow up, and I'll just be another old guy keeping his sports page clippings that he rolls his eyes at. But one thing I'll always have is picking him up from class on Wednesday afternoons - he'll see me from across the room and turn into Walter Payton, running towards me while dodging classmates as if shedding would-be tacklers, all while locking eyes on me and happily shouting "Rats! Rats!" :)







"HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sounds like you running to the buffet line, you fat fuck!!!"