Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Manny Tapes

One great thing about being a Manny is there's always a jug of milk around. Is there anything better than ice-cold milk? I could live off the shit. And of course I scarf half the fucking gallon myself every day, and then I feel bad and try to cover it up for when the bosses come home. Shit ain't cheap. I'll tip the jug forward so it looks like there's more when you open the fridge, for instance. One time I greeted Short Bus' moms at the door, FURIOUS cause I had "dropped the goddam milk on the floor, spilling the shit everywhere. Dammit, me!!!!" And of course I still try the ol' "i dunno, but BOY does this kid guzzle milk! it's unreal!" Of course they know he's only supposed to have one big cup of it during the day; they can glance at the 1/2 gallon that's missing and know that "gee...that looks like more than 8 ounces missing..." Hey, they're not retarded. Caught up in a midget-pony German porn ring yes, but retarded? Nyet.

Ah well. Hey, I love milk. Makes me more of an American, dammit!!

"HAHHAHAA!! Why don't you just suck some out of your big man-tits, you fat fuck?!?!!! YEEEEEEEEESS!!!"

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